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The Way I Used to Be Book Summary

by Amber Smith

The Way I Used to Be

Amber Smith

TL;DR

Eden’s life is shattered when she is raped by her brother’s best friend. The trauma leaves her feeling broken and alone, struggling to navigate the complexities of adolescence while carrying the weight of this horrific secret. As Eden grapples with the aftermath of the assault, she experiences a range of emotions, from anger and self-blame to numbness and detachment. The story follows her journey through high school, exploring the impact of trauma on her relationships, her sense of self, and her ability to trust others.


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Author & Writing Background

Amber Smith is a young adult author known for her honest and unflinching portrayal of difficult topics. Her writing style is characterized by its raw emotion and authentic voice, capturing the complexities of teenage experiences. ‘The Way I Used to Be’ is her debut novel and has received critical acclaim for its sensitive handling of sexual assault and its impact on survivors.

Key Takeaways

Trauma and its Aftermath

The book delves into the psychological and emotional effects of sexual assault, exploring the complexities of trauma and its long-lasting impact on Eden’s life. It portrays the challenges of coping with PTSD, anxiety, and depression, as well as the struggle to regain a sense of normalcy and trust.

Loss of Innocence

Eden’s experience forces her to confront the harsh realities of the world, shattering her childhood innocence and naivety. The book explores the theme of lost innocence and the transition from childhood to adolescence, highlighting the vulnerability and confusion that often accompany this stage of life.

Secrecy and Shame

Eden carries the burden of her assault in secret, fearing judgment and disbelief. The book examines the themes of secrecy and shame, highlighting the isolating and debilitating effects they can have on survivors of sexual violence.

Relationships and Trust

Eden’s ability to form healthy relationships is deeply affected by her trauma. The book explores the challenges of trust and intimacy, as Eden struggles to connect with others while grappling with the fear of vulnerability and betrayal.

Self-Blame and Guilt

Eden experiences feelings of self-blame and guilt, questioning her own actions and wondering if she could have prevented the assault. The book sheds light on the common experience of self-blame among survivors, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and understanding.

Coping Mechanisms

As Eden navigates her trauma, she develops various coping mechanisms, both healthy and unhealthy, to deal with her pain and emotional turmoil. The book explores the different ways in which individuals cope with adversity and the importance of seeking support.

Healing and Resilience

While the journey is difficult, Eden’s story ultimately highlights the possibility of healing and resilience. The book emphasizes the importance of seeking help, finding support systems, and reclaiming one’s agency in the aftermath of trauma.

Speaking Out and Breaking the Silence

Eden’s decision to eventually share her story with others underscores the importance of breaking the silence surrounding sexual violence. The book encourages open conversations about this difficult topic, promoting awareness and understanding.

FAQ about The Way I Used to Be

Is ‘The Way I Used to Be’ based on a true story?

While the book is not based on a specific true story, it draws upon the author’s own experiences and observations to create a realistic and relatable portrayal of sexual assault and its aftermath.

What age group is this book appropriate for?

The book is intended for young adult readers, typically ages 14 and up, due to its mature themes and content.

Does the book offer any resources for survivors of sexual assault?

The book does not explicitly provide resources, but it may serve as a starting point for discussions about sexual violence and encourage readers to seek support if needed.

The Way I Used to Be Quotes

  • ”I used to think I knew who I was. But I guess that girl doesn’t exist anymore."
  • "The silence was the worst part. It made me feel like I was all alone, like no one would ever understand."
  • "I don’t want to be defined by what happened to me. I want to be the one who decides who I am.”